In a lot of ways, online dating doesn't differ that much from offline dating. Peoples personalities are equally as apparent in the online dating world as they are in 'real life' (whatever that is!). If someone is shy or lacks confidence in the real world, the chances are that they will be online too.
If you are shy or lack confidence or don't know how to make the first move in online dating, I hope this article will help.
Let's get one thing straight from the beginning. It doesn't matter whether or not you have dated a lot of people or whether you haven't. Making the first move can be a daunting proposition and the fear of rejection often stops people from approaching someone they want to get to know. I used to have a friend who was good looking, confident and always had plenty of interest from women but he could never make the first move. He always got me to do it for him. Whenever we went out, I acted as his wingman and as a result he got the girl and I got to write about it on here :)
Fortunately most online dating sites have got their own wingman built in. Various tools or options like "winks" or "kisses" can be used to let someone know that you're interested. Just click the button and let the online dating site be your wingman.
Once your wingman has done his job and you've attracted the attention of the person you're interested in, you've got to decide what to say to them. Avoid the temptation of creating a template and cutting and pasting it to everyone. The other person will guess that's what you've done and probably not be interested. Make the message personal. Let them know that you've taken the time to read their profile. Perhaps comment on one of their interests or their job or their schooling. Don't write something bland like "you have nice teeth" or "your hair looks like it smells nice" otherwise you'll be consigned to the trash bin and forever marked as a loony!
Keep your message fairly short. Tell them a bit about yourself but not too much at this early stage. You want them coming back for more, right? Ask questions about them. This is a great way to get a two way dialogue going.
One key thing to remember with online dating is that women get ten times as many messages as men so if she doesn't reply to your mail, don't take it personally. It might not be a rejection. Perhaps she was overwhelmed with the number of responses she got and is wading through them. Certainly don't send a mail two hours later saying "why haven't you responded yet?". You might as well add "your hair sure smells purty" to finish the job off...
No comments:
Post a Comment